Hey! TEACHER! Leave Them Kids Alone!

 Keep It Between the Lines

It goes without saying that all personal relationships should remain, well, personal. The heart goes where the heart will go and love has no explanation or reasonable bounds. Jack Spratt loved his wife. Everyone else dodged her at The Golden Corral. 

 

Opposites attract, but if you’ve been in divorce court as many times as I have you will understand that difference is not the spice of life but the evidence the opposing lawyer presents to the judge. You will note there is no jury in the severance of marital bonds unless one or the other of the combatants chooses a more “permanent” solution. 

 

But all of this could be easily avoided if all pillow talk stayed on the pillows. And I’ll admit that while I prefer those of the opposing body type, there are those who subscribe to other nuances of relationship understandings.  “Any Dab’ll Do Ya.” I shy away from using the word “gender” because the DSM has not arrived at a definitive definition as of yet, still struggling with the no man’s land between Pedophile and “Minor Attracted.”

 

Praise the Lord and Pass the Condoms

With the current movement in Texas to amend the State Constitution to bring it more in line with The Bible it might be prudent for those of, shall we say, a more California style of life to go somewhere more conducive to their beliefs. We haven’t quite gotten past dragging people behind pickup trucks down here, but we’re working on it. 

Today’s Bible Lesson  (Revised Wilbur Edition)

 

Listening to my grandsons’ talking on the way to school yesterday was an eye-opening experience for me. While I’d normally not venture into that conversation I was taken aback by the subject matter. They were discussing the finer points of a book they were reading that expounded the practice of, well, sodomy. For those of you who have been hiding under a big yellow rock, the word “sodomy” was derived from the name of a certain town, Sodom, where the residents therein were versed in same sex relationships up to and including imposing it on visiting angels. Anyway, God chased Lot and his family out of town, turning his wife into salt lick because she turned to get one last look at the mall. (Valley girl!) 

             Roy Rump Ranger

 

So here we were on our way to a Texas school on Valentine’s Day with three teenage Texas boys talking about “The Best of Friends!” It puts a whole new mindset on one. Upon arriving I saw pretty little Texas girls, wearing their corsages that their mother and father had provided them with and what used to be proper cowboys all reading “The Adventures of Roy Rump Ranger.” Polygamy anyone?

 

Are we a bit out of kilter here, or is it just me? Now I have nothing against the LBTGQ and sometimes A community. Matter of fact, I’m from Austin. If you are homophobic in Austin, you will never get a decent haircut and your waiter will spit in your food. I say, “Live and let live!” Just keep the pillow talk between the pillows. All neighborhoods have “The nice gay couple” down the street who hand out the best candy on Halloween. 

       

 

Sex education has its place in school. Sexuality doesn’t. Hey TEACHER! Leave them kids alone! A person’s choice about whatever floats their boat is their boat. It resides in a part of the brain that we don’t yet fully understand. I don’t care for same sex, but I don’t care for beets either. But that doesn’t rule over my life. 

 

This will eventually find common ground and mankind will be right back where it has always been. Some like chocolate, some like vanilla. I can’t say the the two will never mix because sometimes they do. Scotch and soda. Stay thirsty, my friends!