The Road May be bumpy but it IS a Road
Life has its challenges. That goes without saying. The suicide rate in third world countries is low. In black communities it is around two percent. However, have you noticed that whenever you hear about the death of a young movie star you inwardly assume that it was either drugs or self inflicted?
Think about that. People who struggle through life “scrounging for their next meal,” or those who just accept systematic racism as a fact of life die in bed at home while those of wealth and privilege die in a bathtub filled with muddy water.
Strength comes through strain. No pain, no gain. For the movie star or child of a famous industrialist there isn’t enough cocaine in the world while for Dora the Explorer a new pair of shoes is everything in that same world.
Think about the last time you drove on an interstate highway. Providing you’re not in Louisiana, it was fairly smooth wasn’t it? And the very fact that you’re on such a road indicates that you have somewhere to go. Maybe the next town. Perhaps a trip to a family reunion. In spite of all the “Discover America” crap, America has already been discovered and hours on the interstate is just boring.
Now let’s go to Rome, oh about 70 AD. You are making a trip to Pompeii to see the volcano. So, you load the family and a couple slaves up in the big wagon you bought from Lucious Flavious New Chariots, the latest model with the top cover, and start on the weeklong journey to the nights by the sea. You take Rome Highway 1, The Appian Way. The epitome of Roman technology. Closely placed cobblestones, all roughly the same size, that have remained in place for two thousand years. Your interstate will do well to survive the current federal budget. That’s the infrastructure you hear the politicians talking about all the time. The talk may be smooth but the roads aren’t. And neither is life! Life’s a bitch, then you marry one and then you die!
Now picture this. Cobblestone road. Big ol’ wagon with wooden wheels. Remember the covered wagons of the old west? Well, they had I turnable front wheel configuration that made turning somewhat easier. In Ancient Rome they hadn’t come upon that idea yet so when you had to turn it was scoot scoot scoot! But! As bumpy, narrow and loud as the road was . . . it was still a road! And the family, headed for the fireworks in Pompeii thought they had it going on!
The human being is adaptable. Given any set of circumstances it will rise to the occasion. Getting up each morning to brave traffic just to work for their slaving wage while they search for something better. Or enduring abuse by family, wives, or significant others because of peace in the house. There is a host of things that people will put up with but they will get by.
And you can read all the self-help books, watch all the YouTube videos, or Tik and Tok until your vision fails. Most people will persevere. And why? The Mexicans have a saying. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! If there are no cobblestones in your road you will not get stronger. Don’t look at the suffering of the challenge. Look at the results that come from it.
I’ve been divorced six times. And they left me! Shows you what a dynamite personality I have. Suffice to say they were not amicable. My friend, Ted, is a psychologist and says that I apparently have a problem with long term relationships. I mean I’m great for about two minutes. Come to think of it that might be the problem but I digress. But as to divorces. During the first one I cried my ass off. By number six I rushed through court, so I’d get the lunch price at the Golden Corral while I looked for Mrs. Witt number seven. You know, you grow.
Whenever difficulties arise, they always present themselves as insurmountable obstacles to a perfect life. There is no perfect life! There are twists and turns at every junction. You can have a great marriage for fifty years and still get ED! And do not run off with a girlfriend. She was looking when she found you!
When challenges do come up, step back and count to ten, or twenty, or a hundred, but don’t go off your first instinct. And when you come up with an answer consider it to be a rough draft. I edit my articles constantly right up to publication. Edit your decisions the same way. As the challenge changes you should change too. Stoicism teaches that problems diminish with time. That’s why you may have a hard time recalling yesterday’s big problem. That’s because it is no longer a big problem and your mind has filed it away with all the other everyday junk that will one day populate your Altzimers diagnosis.
But you grow stronger with experience. And hopefully you learn because the classic definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Relish the bumpy road. The bumpy road is your friend! It may be bumpy, but it is a road.
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