The Good The Bad and The Biden

 

 

 

There were two presidents that day in the National Cathedral. One in a pew, and one in a box. I remember Jimmy Carter taking office. I voted for him. I was young, dumb, and that other thing. We were all liberal democrats down here. We’d have voted for Scoobie Doo if he was White House broke. Run the country? How hard could it be? Kiss a few babies and let Congress have its way. That was before the Ayatollah Khomemini tied his administration into a pretty pink bow and made Delta Force look like the Keystone Cops.

 

A president with a drunken brother pissing in the Rose Garden. What could possibly go wrong? By the time Carter went home to Georgia half the country was allergic to peanuts. Texas went Republican and never came back. Jimmy picked up a hammer and started renovating old shacks and somehow the country survived. Joe Biden was on the scene, though not as evident as he would be later in his career.

 

Democrat presidents would be few and far between after that fiasco. Oh, there was Clinton. He did ok, but he got tangled up with that Jewish chick. You can’t blame him. Look at his choice. Hillary or Monica. I’d hit it! Took me back to one of my consorts in Long Island. She was Jewish. And, her dad was a doctor! YALLA! Oh, I almost forgot. Obama. He invigorated Biden. But  Bush was a bit better than Busch. No, that’s not a typo. But, he WAS republican. Kinda. Like a baby-making sister wife in Utah. Yeah Yeah Yeah. They don’t do that anymore. Of course they don’t. Right?

 

The fly in the Beltway buttermilk was Trump. Three hundred pounds of pure republican. Spell that “New Yawk City!” Please examine the difference between Carter, Clinton, and Trump. While Carter admitted that he’d sinned in his heart, and Clinton “Nevah had sex wid dat woman,” Trump just “grabbed ‘em by the no no,” and every man in America who had a pair put him in the White House. God Bless ‘Murica! I believe that God has something to do with the placement of leaders. And He has reasons. If you look at it on the whole it becomes quite clear. Putin had this huge publicity campaign for what, twenty years. Convinced the Russians that he was the reincarnation of RA-Putin. Then he jumped on Ukraine. And he’s been pulling Zelenskyy out of his ass ever since. That’s like the US losing a war to Colorado. So he runs off to China for help and they tell him, “You makee no honorable iPhones.” Won Hun Lo over in North Korea gave him some troops but Zelenskyy just put them to work in laundries. So now it’s World War III! And God put these guys in power? Did you ever stop to think that now and then Jesus looks down at us and tells Saint Peter, “Hold my beer and watch this!”

 

Now I’m gonna make all the political scientists mad. Trump is what we need right now. What do you do with an overflowing toilet? You use the plunger and then flush it. Spray a little Glade. Your country is crap, America. You’re in moral decline, your kids can’t write cursive and Curly Howard has been running things for the last four years. Your border is like a condom with a hole in it and pronouns take precedence over the constitution. Here comes the plunger.

 

Is he gonna screw up? In a New York minute but hear me out. One of your largest cities is burning to the ground because the lesbian fire chief doesn’t believe in unsightly fire hydrants. Ok, Trump wants to buy Greenland. If you will notice the Greenlanders asked him how much he was offering. “Elon! Write the check!” He wants to invade Mexico and shoot all the cartels. Hey! Everyone in this old world has a place, and my grass is getting long.

 

And in conclusion I’d like to comment on my title, “The Good The Bad and The Biden!” Caught that on the news this morning so I stole it. In the words of the Prophet Elvis Presley, “Thank you very much!” Jimmy! Get back in your box!