The Unemployed Brother in Law

 

Stop worrying about what’s “legal!” Keep your mind on making America great again. If you have an unemployed brother in law, what do you do? Ok ok, I know. Wife’s brother, special needs and all that. But his mouth still works. His dick still works. And usually, depending on age, he’s a member of some stupid-ass religion with all kinds of rules saying you must support him because Jesus loves him, and God will hate you if you give him the good old bum’s rush. I hear all that. After you have had enough you just have one too many one night and throw him out. And I mean out! Don’t pay the first month’s rent, don’t give him a date, just set his stuff in the driveway. It’s nice if it’s raining. Depending upon her looks and attitude you might want to keep his lady friend around for a bit as a preemptive measure because when he ends up sitting on top of his stuff on the sidewalk your wife, his sister will almost surely leave you and his ex could be your next. Stranger things have happened.

Now replace the unemployed brother-in-law with Pablo Lopez. Change your front door for the border crossing at Nuevo Laredo. Replace his wife with his seester. The religion remains the same because the Mormons and/or Jehovah’s Witnesses will be along shortly. The various court rulings for some cop protecting his civil rights. And just pitch him in the street. Don’t fret it. You will have bail. Just don’t let him back in.

 

As the planes disappear into the sunset, and wives wail and cry about what a good citizen Pablo was just keep your mind on the goal of a profitable safe America with clean streets again.

 

Am I crazy? Do I not understand the legal implications that my idea will involve? Do you get tired of seeing notices of missing girls or dead ones who are “forever sixteen?” Ok, if you use my methods sparks will fly. I get that. But right now the sparks are already flying and we’re paying for the sparklers! And are supporting thousands upon thousands of “unemployed brothers in law” enforced by the very “public servants” who are supposed to be protecting and serving us! How crazy is that?

 

What set me off today was an article about this gang of Democrat Judges overstepping their bounds because someone is finally showing these wetbacks to door, or bridge, or plane, or whatEVER! Get OUT! And I know a lot of good Americans of Latino origins, either natural or naturalIZED who will back me up. They did not jump the border, the border jumped THEM. Been here since San Jacinto! I can’t say that. I’m descended from some broke-ass Irishman who snuck on the boat and did exactly what the illegals are doing right now. Fact: If you don’t have a feather in your hair you ain’t FROM here. That’s why people like me are so adamant about illegal aliens. We know! The real “Native Americans” had it all figured out too until the pale faces showed up.

 

Consider this. Take Canada. We’re about to by the way. Too chickenshit to join us in 1776. Now look at them. Look at the geography. Everybody primarily lives in the south. If that were America everyone would live in Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas . . . well, you know what I’m saying. The Confederacy would have won the Civil War! Who retires and moves up north. And before you start don’t rub slavery in my face. If slavery came back all these people talking about reparations would be on sale at Walmart. Attention Walmart shoppers, special in the parking lot. We all came over in different boats but we’re in the same boat now and Pablo wants to pull on us what we pulled on the Indians! 

We are a new breed. Americans. Many different sizes, shapes, and colors but the result of a designed evolution of the human genome. And it’s true that in our formative years it was a free for all but those days are over. The American Dream is not free. You gotta pay for it. Then you gotta work for it. Then instill it into your children because if you don’t Pablo will stick you in a trailer park in Arizona. Ask Chief Watsamadda. Ya ta Hey!! Wake up and smell the cappuccino.

 

Ok. Math lesson. The population of the European Union is 449.3 million people. The Population of North America is 617,280,500. Hey! If they can bunch up so can we. Think tariffs. Ask yourself: who do you think has more stuff? What do they have that we just can’t live without? French wine? Give me a break. Kentucky Bourbon bitches! Diversity of food. We gave you fish tacos. Military? Ok ok the US is the big dog here so if you’re so great why did you have to come get us to get rid of your last great paper hanger. And who was it before that? Same deal, different Kraut. If Canada, America, and Mexico were to form the Union of C.U.M. The European Union would have to just take a number. And we could do that with just a little respect, cooperation and a nice International Highway from Toronto to Mexico City.

 

I said we needed to control immigration. I did not say we couldn’t spread the wealth. There is no reason Mexico should remain a third world country while it borders on the most wealthy country in history. No reason Mexican people can’t live the same lives as anyone in Dallas. No reason Canada has the whacked-out incentive killing attacks of THEIR life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness that any child support paying father in Colorado has. And no reason that we can’t all live in peace withOUT Chinese iPhones, Russian Vodka, or British Haggis. So let the tariffs roll. Hell! They’ve been doing it to us for years.

 

All the whack a doodles here always scared Trump’s another Hitler. You better be glad he ain’t. You Europeans can’t dispatch a tap-dancing comedian in Ukraine. Could you imagine facing a unified North American Army! You over there are all so articulate, perhaps you, in the words of the Prophet, Dave Chappelle should just . . . shut the fuck up! Au Revoir!