I Shall Not Cross Over


 Been up all night. Did a lot of thinking. All I wanted for my family and friends was for everyone to have all they wanted. I lived in a delusional world of compatibility where everyone worked together with a common purpose. I wanted to make a hit movie that would spur further things and possibilities. I wanted to write things that would make everyone laugh, cry, consider. 


So, I created this artificial world in my mind. A world where everyone met on the porch and asked how I was doing. A world where one grandchild had an idea for a movie, another wanted his girlfriend to fly down, my oldest son asked if I could come up and spend a week. 


And Vic and I, and Rusty, Ashley, Pam, Kim, Lee, and a host of others created that world. A world for everyone. And the awards came in. The world stood back amazed at a story about a girl from the future who came to Austin and showed us where we were headed if we didn’t wake up. Not be woke. Just wake up!


And, as I stood on the mountain, looking at this wonderful world that was coming about . . . God said, “No! You will not cross over.” And I realized that my purpose in life was to make it happen, but not enjoy the benefits. I shall not cross over. 


My writings are based on simplicity. Short, to the point, a simple message. I don’t understand, nor do I want to understand trackers, or secret payments, or all the insidious ways that devious people try to squeeze a nickel out of a story. A story they didn’t write, but they can steal a little piece of it. To me when one person reads one of my pieces, or watches my movie that’s enough. One person. Me to them. One candle in the darkness. 


The quest for fame and fortune has never been my goal. My goal is, and has always been, that one person, be they someone in an assisted living center, or a little girl. One person. 


So, I created a world. And Vic and I made it real. And as I walked toward it, God said, “No.” the hardest thing in life is admitting who you are, and who you aren’t. I’ll be around a while, putting the spit and polish on this world we made. But I shall not cross over to it. 

I wish you the best. May your work see success. I hope you enjoyed my candle. I hope it illuminated some dark corner for you. What did you come to the desert to see?


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