The Eight Hundred Pound Gorilla on the Sixth Green

 by Bill the Butcher & Robert Poynter


 

 

Ok. You conspiracy theorists out there, here’s one for you: Candidate campaigning for office with Secret Service protection makes a spur of the moment decision to play a round of golf, taking a break from his planned route. He flies in his personal jet, complete with entourage to his own golf course with an investor to play golf. Simultaneously a man set up a sniper’s nest just off the sixth green. He was waiting for about twelve hours there indicating that he was there probably just after the candidate was making the decision to play that round of golf. With the candidate on the fifth green the would be assassin was sighting his shot in on the sixth. A highly trained Secret Service Agent saw a rifle protruding from the bushes. Shouting, “Gun!” He fired six shots from his government issued pistol gripped firmly in his highly trained hand . . . and he missed!

 

Ya’ll think I’m making all this up, don’t you? I’m not. Donald Trump, Florida, Secret Service, unannounced Sunday golf game, known criminal who is a convicted felon with an SKS rifle, black SUV with stolen plates, who has been to Ukraine five or six times and recruits troops for Zelenskyy, wrote books about it, and a partridge in a pear tree! I crappith thee NOT!

 

Let’s talk about golf courses. I used to live on the tenth green of the Berry Creek Golf Course in Georgetown Texas, and when I say, “On it,” by God I mean ON it! My spoiled ass grandkids played in the sand trap when golfers weren’t playing trough. Let me tell you virgins about distances. The reporter from FNN (Fake News Network) said  the prospective shooter was on the sixth green, Trump was on the fifth and that highly trained agent saved the day popping rounds in the bushes. Do you think the shooter couldn’t see the fifth from the sixth? Kennedy was shot from the top of a six story building at a moving target fired by a guy who only bore sighted his scope, and Doctor King was shot standing on the balcony from a position down and across the street! Do you not think this man wasn’t sighting his shot in? He already knew where Trump would be, and when. Clear line of fire? “FORE!” Do I have to tell you people everything?

 

We are talking one or two hundred yards. Hell! Let’s make it three. That little queer up in Butler was that close and he blew Trump’s ear off. Of course, the highly trained Secret Service had to clear the crowds out of the way to afford him that shot, but we ain’t talking about that. He fired eight shots that day. Oswald got three because he had to switch from his misaligned 4X scope to iron sights after his first shot hit the pavement behind the presidential limousine and wounded a bystander in the cheek. And King was killed by one shot. And this cracker was better positioned and closer than that. And what’s the excuse? He was hiding in the bushes! He wasn’t hiding. He was camped out. We’re lucky he didn’t order Chinese food to be delivered while he was waiting. Nobody went looking for a lost golf ball in all that time? My GRANDKIDS could’ve found that guy.

 

If I used this senerio in a movie plot Vic would tell me it’s unrealistic. I’m not gonna list all the questions that need to be addressed. The next shooter may set up a deer stand! I’m just waiting to see how the “Secret” Service is gonna sweep this eight hundred pound gorilla under the rug. Bond! JAMES Bond. CiCi, the door!


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